You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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