My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
