If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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