wat bout pragnant strippers??
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
