he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
