My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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