and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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