In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
