so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
