this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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