not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
