i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
