Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
