You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize