How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize