I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
