redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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