I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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