Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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