i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
