Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
