Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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