even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
