i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
