he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
