we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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