Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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