I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
