This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
