all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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