YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
