He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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