Plan B is the new Plan A
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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