Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
