I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
