I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
