Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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