it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
