i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
