idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
