what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
