goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
