I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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