K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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