So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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