That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
