Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
