Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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