lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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