Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I need a hoe opinion
go on
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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