shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Fuck appropriateness.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
