i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
