butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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