I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
