even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
