What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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